Carry on my wayward son
by Narratives
Summary: What happened after the events shown in Equilibrium? This is a story about life after the fall of Father. A story about adaptation and recovery.
1. Prologue

_**Hello, Equilibrium fans! I just wanted to ask you to forgive any grammar mistakes in this fic. English is not my first lenguage, and I've never written fanfiction before. I hope you like it. Feel free to R &R! **_

**Carry on my wayward son**

John and Jürgen sat on two nice chairs, or at least that was John's opinion. Red velvet and rustic wood, with a modern design… he guessed the word nice was enough to define those chairs. He glanced around the studio, and watched the busy crew adjusting the cameras and lights. The audience was already there surrounding them like the people in the Coliseum, talking excitedly and watching the two celebrities on the nice chairs, with a complicated mix of emotions. Most of them were in aw, but there were some angered or frightened faces. In addition, there were the ones who looked at John with plain hate.

It all began when Jürgen's office got an unexpected call a few weeks earlier. The show's producer explained that the talk show was culturally important, since it would be the first talk show of new Libria. John was not fond of the idea of interview. Not because he was shy (he was not), he just didn't see why people would want to watch his interview. He was a Cleric. The one who killed Father; that much was true. However, his actions were what really metered for Libria. Not the kind of person he was, or his capacity to be entertaining. But Jürgen was excited about it. The show represented the rebirth of independent media, and that was only possible because of their efforts. He was proud of the country, proud of the society he was leading, and wanted to be a part of its spring… and John had the feeling Jürgen wanted to be in the spotlight just because it could be fun.

Therefore, Preston agreed to go, and now they were in the middle of a studio that used to serve Father's purposes, with hundreds of curious Librian citizens. The show was live, so his kids were at home, probably getting the popcorn ready, climbing on the couch with the family's dog Ludwing, and waiting for the show to air. They were very excited about it, which surprised John. He never thought life would be what it was now. Every day was surprising.

"IT'S TIME!"

The show began. There was music and the show's host walked in the set. He greeted the screaming audience and addressed the nearest camera to greet "the citizens at home", than sat on a chair in front of John and Jürgen, who sat side by side. He greeted the President and Libria's most famous Restoration Cleric, and started a surprisingly light conversation.

\- Here I am, interviewing President Jürgen and Restoration Ceric John Preston for the first time ever. –he waited until the crowd stopped cheering- I gotta say you guys are not as tall as I expected.- John laughed

\- Sorry about that - he joked. – I guess it is the uniforms. Usually, we both wear uniforms that exude a lot of authority.

\- …so in normal clothes you look…-

\- Normal- finished Jürgen. The three of them laughed.

\- Okay- continued the host – So what is it like to live this new life? How are you adapting in the reality of New Libria?

\- My daily life hasn't changed much - said Jürgen - I was feeling for years before the Awakening, and I still work with the same people I used to. The biggest change is the feeling of safety now that Father is gone. - the host looked at John

\- John? – The Cleric adjusted himself on the chair

\- Well… life is a constant surprise to me. I think I'm fine in this new scenario, but I still feel ignorant most of the time.

\- But he's going well with the ladies - Confided Jürgen. The host gave him a look of interest.

\- Really? Care to explain? - The audience seemed equally interested on the topic.

\- It's not what it looks like- John explained.

\- Come on, John, they shower you with attention; I have to admit I'm kind of envious! - the audience was laughing now.

\- Are you what pre Libria people used to call a pick up artist?- asked the host with a smile.

\- No!...- the crowd cheered even more, and John had to admit that the situation was quite comical- Listen I don't walk around flirting all the time. I guess the story of my treason, or the many stories about _why_ I killed Father…

\- … because you fell in love with a woman- said the host

\- …I guess these stories have created a whole folklore about me. So women react to that. They feel attraction for this romantic idea of me. I like to tell myself it is a sign I'm doing fine in this new reality, though. –he laughed- I'm usually self-conscious when it comes to interacting with people because I grew up on Prosiun, every interaction was about a protocol established by the Grammaton. So when the women start… giving me attention, I give myself a pat in the back, because well, looks like I'm doing something right!- the crowd was clapping now. Jürgen and the host were cracking up.


	2. Chapter 1

Girl-of-Action and SilverHandwriting, thank you for the encouragement! It's great to see that actual human beings appreciate this story. It's my first fanfic ever, so I'm quite self-conscious about it. So really, those reviews are very important to me!

About me calling the end of the movie "The awakening", I'm sorry to say that it was not my idea, Girl-of-Action. I read it in somebody else's fanfic ( s/4181403/1/Cleric) a few years ago and thought it was a very adequate name, so I decided to borrow it. I think the whole fandom should read this fic, It's the best in my opinion.

And at last, but not least, I would like to apologize for taking so long to post this chapter. I was writing pretty smoothly, when I found myself in a situation in which I just didn't know how to get from point A to point B. I have a clear idea of where I want to take this story, actually I have tons of ideas, but there was the problem of HOW I should do it. I think this problem is solved for now. Thank you for reading this story, please review it!

 **Trigger warning: there is a mention to suicide in this chapter.**

 **T** he computer screen showed a photo of an older man. Dark hair and high cheekbones, like John. A good record as a professor in the hall of freedom, and an address. James Preston seemed to be a law-abiding citizen, an intelligent man who had dedicated his life to the formation of Clerics, without ever ceasing his dose. That was everything John knew about his father. He gazed at the man's cold, Prozium shot eyes trying to figure out something about his character, anything, but it was fruitless.

He signed and closed the window of his father's record. He had been curious about his parents since he ceased his dose. Robbie and Liza seemed to be the most interesting mix of him and Viviana, he could spend hours watching them. His half smile was on their faces usually, especially on Robbie's, and Viviana's intense and curious gaze was always on Liza's eyes. These little similarities would give him a sense of wonder. Were genetics so powerful that personality traits could pass on from a generation to another?

His mother's record was even vaguer than his father's was. She had been a good shooting trainer in the sweepers unit, but one day twenty years ago, she had gone missing. John vaguely remembered that. The Grammaton had an arrest order for her as a sense offender, but they never managed to find her. Was she a member of the Resistance? Was she still alive? John had no idea. Lillian Preston was a light brunette with hazel eyes, so now John knew he had his mother's eyes. Anything else was a damn mystery.

Prozium made it difficult for him to remember his parents and his childhood; he could not access most of those memories. Many Librian citizens were going through the same process of discovery. Memory is a huge part of one's identity; and as a part of the formation of Libria's collective identity, some personal stories of the citizens feature on the newspaper every day. The names changed to preserve people's privacy, but the content remained. These stories were a portrait of the human side of Libria. It was full of newfound families; people were getting together again and restoring their once forbidden relations…

…and conflicts.

The problem with emotion was that it took knowledge for one to attain a healthy emotional life; Jürgen was right when he said emotion needed some restraint. But knowledge was something most of the Librian citizens lacked, and restraint was something most of them were consciously avoiding, after years of oppression. The former members of the resistance had proven to be a valuable asset in the society's transition from emotionless to fully emotional. They had expertise and were willing to share it, but it wasn't enough. All sorts of conflicts were back. The clerics were busier than ever, investigating murders, solving disagreements, fighting against chaos.

John closed his mother's records and dedicated his attention to the report he had been writing. An adolescent had committed suicide. The letter found near the body said he was "tired of the madness", and wanted to break free from the insane world he was living in.

"Life was so much simpler before the Awakening", the boy wrote, "but now life is pain, I am skinned alive by my feelings every day, and even love, the biggest promise of human emotion, is painful and violent. Death is the only relief."

It was the second suicide report John wrote in that same week. Adaptation was tough. The government was repurposing some preexisting buildings, turning them into Rehabilitation clinics for those who had problems in the transition from existing to living. The counsellors and doctors in those clinics were doing their best to save as many people as possible, but suicides were still disturbingly common.

A green icon appeared in the corner of his computer's screen. John clicked on it to open a chat window:

 _Anna: Hey, John! Are you finished with your report?_

 _John: Yes._

 _Anna: I was wondering if you could help me with mine… we could have a cup of coffee and talk about it… meet me in the cafeteria?_

 _John: Sorry, Anna, I'm a little out of time. My son is waiting for me. We_

John stopped typing. Robbie was not waiting for him; the truth is that John was aware of Anna's intentions. She wanted to date him, but he was uncomfortable with the idea of dating. Mary had been dead for just a few months, and even though nothing had actually happened between them, he wasn't ready for dating yet. He thought about what he and his son were likely to do together. Would he meet Robbie's teachers? No. Everybody knew Robbie Preston was an excellent student; the excuse wouldn't sound legit. But there was a sport…

 _John_ : _Sorry, Lilly, I'm a little out of time. My son is waiting for me. We are going to play paintball._

 _Anna: ok_

John left the building a few minutes later. He knew that Anna would have appreciated honesty, but he already knew a few things about human relations. If he told her the actual reason for letting her down, she could have mistaken a no for a maybe, because sharing emotional information was the most common way for human beings to bond. That is how things start to get personal. And he didn't want Lilly to get hopeful. As awkward as it was, John did not see himself dating any time soon.

888

Stop the Rock and Roll! Its dinnertime! – Robbie yelled from the kitchen, where he was setting the table with his father. The music stopped and Lisa appeared at the kitchen door. She wore a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, and her hair was free from the bun she had been forced to wear for so many years. Now it hanged free and wavy.

Are we having something good tonight? – She asked. John looked up from the casserole he was holding.

I hope so. - He set it carefully on the table, watched closely by his children.

It smells good… - Said Robbie, a bit uncertainly.

The Preston family was still learning to cook. John had found a book of recipes in a deposit of E.C-10; the items stored in it were to be destroyed right before the Awakening. Since then the family had been practicing. They had had many accidents in the process, which resulted in awful food, so they would frequently end up eating the nutritive and tasteless food from Father's time.

They sat on the chairs around the table and served the food on their plates. Ludwig barked from Robbie's room. They all looked at the steaming food.

You both know we will have to taste it, don't you? - Asked John.

Sure! – Said Lisa. – I'm just a little traumatized by our gastronomic adventure yesterday. - John filled his fork with food.

O.k., I'll do it. - He put the food in his mouth and started shewing.

Is it good? – asked Robbie. John swallowed and looked pleasantly surprised.

Yes… We have real food in this house! –

The children started eating excitedly, and they agreed with John. The meal really was good. Finally, their home had some actual food. John considered it a Revolutionary victory, but he was not going to say it aloud. In the end, it was just food; it wasn't supposed to have philosophical value. In pre-Libria times54453 people would eat while watching TV, without really paying attention to the food. It was not a big deal. And they could order food trough their phones: a man on a motorcycle would deliver it in only 28 minutes; John had read it in a novel. Robbie and Lisa chatted happily during the entire dinner. John would comment occasionally, but he preferred to eat in silence and watch them. They were lively, not just alive.

888

In the following morning John drove to the Tetragrammaton buildings, as usual. The sky was bright; it was the beginning of summer and the night had been good, no nightmares. John suspected it was an effect of the good meal. He was starting to doubt the assumption that food was not supposed to have philosophical value, or emotional effects.

As he passed by Freedom Square, he noticed a group of people gathered in the middle of the square. They were having some sort of discussion, and things seemed to be getting heated. He parked his car in one of the streets nearby and approached the group. Keeping a safe distance, he heard the as an older man defended his point:

Prozium is a threat to our society! We should make it illegal, and punish it's users with vigor! What's going to happen when the society goes against the government again? I wonder if he's actually going to allow us freedom in this kind of scenario. A wave of taunts erupted from the crowd. - Now the situation is stable because we support President Jürgen. But remember that he kept the Clerics at his side. We all know what they can do, we all remember how they used to hunt us. What guarantee is that he won't use them to push Prozium on us again?

People were starting to throw trash at the man, but he had his own group of supporters. They threw back the objects, and seemed to agree with everything he said.

But we deserve total freedom! - Said a woman in her thirties. - Making Prozium illegal would only make us a little less free, and a little more afraid. Do you suggest Prozium users should be hunted the way sense offenders used to be hunted?

John went back to his car and drove to the Tetragrammaton, but the public discussion stayed in his head. It could be nothing, just a healthy exercise of citizenship…


End file.
